“If I have found favor in your sight,
give me a sign that it is You who are speaking to me”
(Judg 6:17)
People often believe it would be better to not ask signs from God so as not to “tempt” him, to not put him to the test. I, too, was afraid of asking for a sign, but I asked myself: “How can I truly understand if what I feel within me is truly His will or only a fixation of mine, something that I am convinced by only because I like the idea and it makes me feel good?” I would repeat to myself a phrase of Friar Volantino that I heard in a catechesis, “If you like the idea, God has given you the desire” – which encouraged me, but it was not enough. In fact, he also said that "if this is not enough for you, you can ask for other signs, like Gideon did!"
The Lord had certainly given me many answers already through prayer, but it was not enough for me. My Spiritual Guide, Sr. Veronica, told me that there was nothing bad in asking for a clear sign from the Lord if in my heart there was a true and sincere desire to understand His will, given that many people in the Bible had done the same thing (cf. Is 7:11; Judg 6:17, John 6:26).
When I finally went on my first retreat, I did not want to return home without having the certainty that it was truly Him speaking to my heart. Then, something incredible happened!
One afternoon, my Spiritual Guide came into my room to bring me a copy of the Rule to read. Since she had not stapled the sheets of paper together, she had folded a green piece pf paper to keep them in order. She told me that if I wanted to, I could even keep the little green paper which had these words written on it: “powerful prayer to obtain great graces.” Once she left the room, I opened the folded paper and read the prayer. There were blank spaces to fill in one’s own name, the sign being requested, and the promise made to the Lord. The paper also said to kneel in front of the Tabernacle, if possible. I had not spoken to anyone about this – not even to my Spiritual Guide. I thought about it for a while, then I took the paper and a pen, and I went into the chapel which was next to the room I was staying in. With my hands shaking, as I was a little afraid, I knelt down, took a deep breath, and began to fill in the blanks of that paper. I wrote my name, then continuing to the request of the sign (which, I thought, should be something in particular that could not happen easily) I wrote, “I want a sign of the cross to be made on my forehead.” Finally, I added the promise to give “my while life!” I raised my eyes to gaze upon the Tabernacle, and, like Gideon, I told Jesus: “Give me this sign if it is truly You who are speaking to me.”
The days passed and there was still no sign, and I began to be discouraged. On the evening before I had to return home from the retreat, however, after we had prayed the Holy Rosary together, a sister – for no apparent reason – came up to me and made the sign of the cross on my forehead! I couldn’t believe it! I was amazed, I was shocked, I was happy!! This was the sign of certainty! Through this little nun, God had responded to my request! Now it is up to me to keep my promise!
-- A psgm Aspirant
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