When I first started discerning religious life, I didn’t want anyone to know: I thought this secret was still too intimate and uncertain to be shared, even with my Catholic friends – and certainly not with my Protestant family! I wanted greater clarity before exposing myself to the influence of other people’s doubt or excitement.
I had only been discerning a few weeks when I had to make a decision: would I attend a vocations fair that the diocese was hosting? Part of me wanted to, but part of me was still afraid I might run into someone I knew. Finally, I decided against it. I’m sorry, Lord, I prayed, but I’m just not ready to be that public about this yet. Instead, I went to daily Mass, praying that the Lord would continue to give me clarity in my vocation.
As usual, I prayed for a while after Mass, and left long after everyone else had filtered out. This time, though, somebody had waited for me outside. As I walked out the doors into the apparently-empty courtyard, I heard a voice – “Excuse me!” – and turned to find an elderly lady clutching a picture of Mother Teresa (it was her feast day) and peering up at me intently. She smiled.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “I don’t know why I feel like I have to tell you this, but…I think that you have a religious vocation.”
We had never met. She didn’t know if I was married. She had only seen me once – that morning, from across the church – and she had waited till I came out to tell me that.
Now, it’s certainly not unheard-of for pious old ladies to inform pious young ladies that they ought to be nuns…but this “coincidence” was hard to ignore: the same day that I had gone to Mass instead of the vocations fair and prayed specifically for clarity in my vocation, this complete stranger spoke straight to the secret that I hadn’t revealed to anyone!
For me, that was a gentle confirmation from the Lord that I was moving in the right direction; that the inmost desires of my heart were not out of line in this matter with His. Bolstered by this sign, I soon worked up the courage to talk to the parish priest about it, and so began the path of more guided and intentional discernment which would gradually lead me to discover my vocation!
--Sr. EMJ
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