How did I understand that the Lord was calling me to religious life?
Peace and good, my name is Sr. Sara. I’ll begin by noting that before meeting the community, I did not have plans of becoming a nun or anything of that sort. On the contrary, my mom would say: “You weren’t bad, you were terrible.” I was not attracted to nuns, the type of habit that they usually wear, the blouse with long sleeves and buttons, the skirt, the socks, the close-toed shoes and short hair. With all due respect for these other nuns and having nothing against them, instead of attracting me, these things gave me the opposite effect.
This was the case until I met the community of the Little Friars and Little Nuns of Jesus and Mary (in which I am a member) in Mexico, in particular Sr. Stella. One of the first things that attracted my attention, besides her big beautiful smile, was also the habit she was wearing. It was completely different from all the other ones I was familiar with. From that moment on, I began to feel something strong in my heart; strong feelings were reawakened inside of me. I felt this until one day, when the Lord had us meet, and we began to speak. In short, I remember that this conversation completely changed the way I saw things in my life, because she spoke to me about the life of St. Francis of Assisi, of eternal life, and above all the resurrection, in a way that was so luminous, clear, intelligent, and strong (thanks also to the meditations of our founder, Friar Volantino Verde). This brought me to desire to understand what the Lord wanted from me, and so I began to be close to the community, and the Lord accompanied me with some signs. However, it happened that at a certain point I began to have some doubts, such as: “I never thought about entering religious life until now that I have been visiting this community. What if the Lord is not calling me to religious life? And what if I am making a mistake with all this?” Well, it was then that I asked the Lord with all my heart to give me a sign that would make me understand that he was calling me to the religious life. I remember that night I had a dream where I saw Sr. Stella who was showing something to me, and I heard a voice that said “Psalm” and I saw the number 133. I woke up, and it was around 3:00 in the morning. The first thing I did was open the bible and searched for that Psalm which said:
How good and how pleasant it is, when brothers dwell together as one!
Like fine oil on the head, running down upon the beard,
Upon the beard of Aaron, upon the collar of his robe.
Like dew of Hermon coming down upon the mountains of Zion.
There the LORD has decreed a blessing, life for evermore! (Ps 133)
As soon as I finished reading this Psalm, I had more questions than answers; I understood nothing. So, I went back to sleep. It was around 7:00 on the same day, when I got up and did the Divine Office. It was then that I discovered that I the second reading from St. Ambrose it was written:
“When you left that baptismal bath, you went to the priest.
Consider when happened next. The Psalmist wrote:
‘It is like precious oil poured upon the head, that descends down the beard,
the beard of Aaron…
This oil descends through the beard, that is from his renewed youth, and through the beard of Aaron, because he makes himself a chosen, priestly, precious race.’”
Wow. “Priestly…renewed youth” meant consecrated!! For me, it was a very strong sign. I had no more doubts that the Lord was calling me to religious life – to give him my whole life!!!