“Listen, my daughter, and understand;
pay me careful heed.
Forget your people and your father’s house,
that the king might desire your beauty.”
(Ps. 45:11-12)
On Christmas of 2015, as I reflected upon this Psalm that happened to appear in the prayers, Jesus elucidated the answer to my nine-year-long prayer, which was, ‘Which religious community are you calling me to and when will be the time?’ and He literally made my dream come true: that day, I was verbally accepted into and embraced by the religious community of the Little Friars & Little Nuns of Jesus & Mary! But, in the midst of all the excitement, Jesus also requested of me to prove, still a little more, my desire for His will…
‘Are you willing to forget your people and your father’s house – to drop the nets, boat,
and father to follow Me (cf. Matt. 4:19-22) – and to unite yourself to Me (cf. Eph. 5:31)?’
Even though I didn’t completely understand what sort of trial the Lord was asking of me, I was filled with joy and made that “whole-hearted yes” (cf. Lk. 1:38) to whatever was to come before my official entrance into the community.
Three weeks prior to my entrance into aspirancy with the Little Nuns, the trial began and continued. Previous to Christ’s call on Christmas, I had committed myself to live, work, and be guided at a formation house (for girls in discernment) for the length of a schoolyear. The trial was basically: either I follow through in putting God’s will at the first place – dropping the nets immediately – or go with the will of all those who I was closest to and looked up to – waiting another 3-4 months… Naturally, it wasn’t easy to decide. However, frequenting the Sacraments, reading & reflecting over examples of Biblical characters, and communicating with my spiritual director helped me to drop the nets like the apostles and enter the community immediately. And throughout these years that I’ve been in community, I’ve seen and experienced the benefit of bountiful blessings from Jesus in reward (cf. Matt. 19:29).
Sr. JMLL