The desire for a perfect marriage and to build a family is most common among young women. Let's say this is the normal route, the choice most people make.
It wasn't like that with me! Although I greatly admire married life, getting married was never on my "projects for the future" list. I wanted to travel the world, have a promising professional life, help the poor, be part of social projects, etc. I was looking for something different, but I didn't know what it was. I lived the common experiences of youth (parties, going out with friends, etc), it was an apparently normal reality. But I was dissatisfied, nothing made sense, something was missing.
In 2014 I participated in a youth retreat (until then I did not seek the sacraments and rarely went to church). There I had not only my first contact with religious life, but also my personal experience with God. I remember the joy I felt after making a good confession and attending Mass every day for a week. During these days of retreat I was able to talk with some nuns and get to know a little about the life of a consecrated person.
I learned that they can travel the world as missionaries helping so many people and give up marriage -- not because it's a bad thing (after all, new vocations for the Church come from the family) but to dedicate themselves totally to the service of God. It was a luminous moment for me, as if that reality came to meet the yearnings of my heart. At that moment I understood that I was called to this life of total surrender to the service of God.
Some time later I had a dream where I was in an ornate church for a wedding party, and I was walking alone towards the altar. I understood this as confirmation of my vocation, as those who opt for the consecrated life walk alone to the altar, thus realizing what we call spiritual marriage where the bridegroom is Christ himself. These are, as the Gospel says: "Those who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of God."
Obviously, in order to fully understand our vocation, a process of discernment is necessary, it is not just feelings and emotions, but concrete answers, practices that make us build a solid foundation. This is possible through prayer, spiritual direction and the sincere search to respond to the call of God himself when he says: "Come and follow me".
Leticia Dantas
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